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Archive for October, 2011

What Goes Around, Comes Around.

The man slowly looked up. This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer
things of life. Her coat was new. She looked like she had never missed a
meal in her life. His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of him,
like so many others had done before.

“Leave me alone,” he growled… To his amazement, the woman continued
standing. She was smiling — her even white teeth displayed in dazzling
rows.

“Are you hungry?” she asked.

“No,” he answered sarcastically. “I’ve just come from dining with the
president… Now go away.”

The woman’s smile became even broader.

Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm. “What are you doing,
lady?” the man asked angrily. “I said to leave me alone.

Just then a policeman came up. “Is there any problem, ma’am?” he asked.

“No problem here, officer,” the woman answered. “I’m just trying to get
this man to his feet. Will you help me?”

The officer scratched his head. “That’s old Jack. He’s been a fixture
around here for a couple of years. What do you want with him?”

“See that cafeteria over there?” she asked. “I’m going to get him something
to eat and get him out of the cold for awhile.”

“Are you crazy, lady?” the homeless man resisted. “I don’t want to go in
there!” Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up.

“Let me go, officer. I didn’t d o anything..”

“This is a good deal for you, Jack,” the officer answered. “Don’t blow it.”

Finally, and with some difficulty, the woman and the police officer got
Jack into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote corner. It was
the middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd had already left
and the lunch bunch had not yet arrived.

The manager strode across the cafeteria and stood by his table. “What’s
going on here, officer?” he asked.”What is all this, is this man in
trouble?”

“This lady brought this man in here to be fed,” the policeman answered.

“Not in here!” the manager replied angrily. “Having a person like that here
is bad for business.”

Old Jack smiled a toothless grin. “See, lady. I told you so. Now if you’ll
let me go. I didn’t want to come here in the first place.”

The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled. “Sir, are you
familiar with Eddy and Associates, the banking firm down the street?”

“Of course I am,” the manager answered impatiently. “They hold their weekly
meetings in one of my banquet rooms.”

“And do you make a goodly amount of money providing food at these weekly
meetings?”

“What business is that of yours?”

I, sir, am Penelope Eddy, president and CEO of the company.”

“Oh..”

The woman smiled again.. “I thought that might make a difference.”

She glanced at the cop who was busy stifling a laugh. “Would you like to
join us in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?”

“No thanks, ma’am,” the officer replied. “I’m on duty.”

“Then, perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?”

“Yes, ma’ am. That would be very nice.”

The cafeteria manager turned on his heel. “I’ll get your coffee for you
right away, officer.”

The officer watched him walk away… “You certainly put him in his place,”
he said.

“That was not my intent… Believe it or not, I have a reason for all
this.”

She sat down at the table across from her amazed dinner guest. She stared
at him intently.

“Jack, do you remember me?”

Old Jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes. “I think so — I mean
you do look familiar.”

“I’m a little older perhaps,” she said. “Maybe I’ve even filled out more
than in my younger days when you worked here, and I came through that very
door, cold and hungry.”

Ma’am?” the officer said questioningly. He couldn’t believe that such a
magnificently turned out woman could ever have been hungry.

“I was just out of college,” the woman began. “I had come to the city
looking for a job, but I couldn’t find anything. Finally I was down to my
last few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment. I walked the
streets for days. It was February and I was cold and nearly starving. I saw
this place and walked in on the off chance that I could get something to
eat.”

Jack lit up with a smile. “Now I remember,” he said. “I was behind the
serving counter. You came up and asked me if you could work for something
to eat. I said that it was against company policy.”

“I know,” the woman continued. “Then you made me the biggest roast beef
sandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go
over to a corner table and enjoy it. I was afraid that you would get into
trouble. Then, when I looked over and saw you put the price of my food in
the cash register, I knew then that everything would be all right…”

“So you started your own business?” Old Jack said.

“I got a job that very afternoon. I worked my way up. Eventually I started
my own business that, with the help of God, prospered.” She opened her
purse and pulled out a business card. “When you are finished here, I want
you to pay a visit to a Mr. Lyons. He’s the personnel director of my
company. I’ll go talk to him now and I’m certain he’ll find something for
you to do around the office.”

She smiled. “I think he might even find the funds to give you a little
advance so that you can buy some clothes and get a place to live until you
get on your feet. If you ever need anything, my door is always open to
you.”

There were tears in the old man’s eyes. “How can I ever thank you?” he
asked.

“Don’t thank me,” the woman answered. “To God goes the glory. He led me to
you.”

Outside the cafeteria, the officer and the woman paused at the entrance
before going their separate ways. “Thank you for your help officer,” she
said.

“On the contrary, Ms. Eddy,” he answered. “Thank you. I saw a miracle
today, something that I will never forget, and thank you for the coffee.”

Hearing Aid

A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

“Here’s what you do” said the Doctor,”stand about 40 feet away from her…, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.”

Then in a normal tone he asks, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?
No response..

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?’
Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?’
Again no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away.. ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?’
Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her… ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?’

“Ralph, for THE FIFTH time, CHICKEN!”

Nichijou 日常

日常是一部日本动漫

《日常》:女高中生机器人东云名乃,对自己是机器人而且背上装着大发条而感到自卑,而她身边是一些“非日常”的人物,比如自称是博士的8岁萝莉等等。主人公与身边形形色色的人们过着离奇却又搞笑的日常生活,充满爆笑内容以及个性鲜明的角色们也都是本作的亮点。

What a marvellous answer!!!

What a marvellous answer!!!!!

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to
the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.

The mechanic shouted across the garage,” Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute.”

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, “So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind ’em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one… So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? ”

The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic…..

Doctor said: “Try to do it when the Engine is RUNNING”